Baby Girl

Got a call today.

caller: Tif?
me: *gasp

It was my sister. It was an emotional experience and for sensationalism, I will begin at the very beginning.

March 17th, 2001

My mother received a phone call from my sister’s boyfriend at the time: “your daughter left me, I don’t know what to do, I will send your grand daughter (my niece) back to you, my friend will bring her to you”. So arrives the Ho, and my niece in Baltimore. Now before you attack me for addressing this woman as a Ho, she was a Ho–capital H, card carrying Ho. Wig, stilettos- Ho. Who the hell flies in stilettos? Not sexy pumps, platformed stilettos. They arrive from Vegas, yes-legal Ho. So me, my buddy let’s call him umm 12, and my new girlfriend go to see my niece who I haven’t seen in years. We go to my mother’s house (across the street) and I run up to my niece and it’s a big hug pick up kissy thing going on. My daughter, who I’d seen every day at that point in turn runs up to me and grabs my leg and wants the same attention. Whilst hugging my neice– who we had no known account of her whereabouts for about a year, and non-intentionally neglecting my daughter who clinged to my leg, my daughter’s mother gets upset for me ignoring my daughter. Before I go any further, this is just a historical account of events, I do not attempt to bash my daughter’s mother, she is the primary caregiver of my most precious and valued being. We argue, my girlfriend leaves. Some other lash out by my daughter’s mother Mr. 12 leaves. The role of my daughter’s mother will now be played by DM. So DM is still on a tirade, to the point I get ready to leave. My mother makes the point that DM has made everyone leave except the children, and let’s not forget the Ho, who no one knows, but flight is the next day so she needs some place to stay. We love the Ho, she brought my mother’s first born grandchild home to us, can’t say nothing bad about the Ho. It’s unfortunate she’s a Ho, but that’s not our problem.

OK fast forward an hour and we go out to do that thing that we do when we do that thing that we do. I’m not being sexy or provocative, we’re drunks, and damn proud of it. Hell it was St. Patty’s day and there were several green beers with our name on ‘em. So me, 12, and the new gf, go to an Irish bar. Oh, for all intents and purposes the new gf is Micki , but it’s important here to note that she is indeed, the new gf. We intentionally go to this said Irish bar to avoid DM and the Ho, because DM called and asked where they could go where they would not get carded cuz the Ho apparently wasn’t old enough to drink or this was pre- 9/11 she got on a plane without ID.

At this point I should stop calling her the Ho, and call her confused child, so she will going further be referred to as CC.

So me, new gf, and 12 are at the Irish bar, getting it in– drink on-age. my phone continuously rings with DM on the other end crying for some reason or the other. New gf takes my phone, and suspends all calls. DM realizes this and decides to call 12, to the point where new gf takes 12’s phone. We drink and decide to go home– me and the new gf have some exercises to do. So we get home and the DM is stumbling up the street and 12 decides to go look after her. Me and the new gf go in to exercise but She’s Gotta Have It is on and we
decide to watch as she sits on my lap in the computer chair. Minutes later the doorbell rings.

Through the Intercom:

DM: your mother kicked me out
me: so? go home
DM: I’m drunk
me: catch a cab
DM: I’m broke
me: I just called my mother, she said she didn’t kick you out and for
you to go back there
DM: Can I get a glass of water?
me: *sigh
and being the dumb ass that I am, with approval from the new gf– she should take some of the blame here– I deliver DM a glass of water, to where she’s sprawled out on the floor in my vestibule, a 3 foot square opening to the outside of my then apartment. I go back and continue to watch the movie and totally forget DM is in my damn vestibule. So somewhere during foreplay the buzzer rings and me and new gf both immediately remember DM is still in the vestibule.

me: what?
DM: I want to give you your glass back
me: keep it
DM: I also have to go to the bathroom

Now here’s where me and the new gf (NG) need to be batted across the head– we agree to let her in to use the bathroom. She walks through the door and *Blam, does a spin and hits the floor, 3 feet away from where we were sitting. So I try to revive her, she’s seemingly unconscious. So I’m sitting with new gf on my lap and call my mother and asks her what to do, when I notice DM peaking at us. So I’m like hell naw you faking get your ass out of here. She gets up and immediately charges at me and I just curl up not to engage in any type of fight or
defense at all. NG gets in between to break us up, which didn’t stop DM who subsequently got clocked by NG and once again she’s on the floor. So at this point I tell DM to leave which she refuses, DM gets up and charges at NG, NG knocks her out again. NG calls the police, while on the phone DM kicks the hell out of NG. NG jumps on DM and refrains her.

The police come and I try to get NG to get off of DM so she doesn’t get arrested.

Cop#1: what’s going on here?
DM: officer do you see a woman on top of me?

Cop removes NG from DM and we tell him the entire story.

Cop#2: Why didn’t you leave maam?
DM: (still lying on the floor)I lost my keys.

Keys on floor next to her

Cop#1: there are your keys why didn’t you leave
DM: i’m too drunk to drive
Cop#1: why didn’t you take a cab
DM: I have no money
2 crisp 20 dollar bills next to the keys

Cop#1 that’s it maam let’s go.

We all commense to leave– there was an issue of a cell phone but my memory doesn’t stem that far.

DM: But he hit me!
NG: I’m the only one that hit you bitch

While being led out by the cops DM goes and hits NG.

Cop#1 or 2: that’s it maam you’re going to jail
Maam? It’s amazing how cops can be so cordial while locking your ass up.

So they cuff her and goes rambling on about them reading her her rights.

cop #1: I don’t have to read you your rights– I saw you hit her
DM: I want to be read my rights
cop#2: you have the right to shut up– you’re going to jail for assault.

So DM rambles and starts to drift off, while in handcuffs, police are waiting for a female officer for whatever reason.

cop#2 Miss where are you going you are under arrest ypou just can’t wander around

So she goes off to jail, I call her father who isn’t best of buddies with the father of his unwed daughter’s child for obvious reasons, and he scolds me for contacting him. Whatever.

So finally I’m not sure if we got any exercise done that night but we went to sleep. In the morning we thought “whatever happened to CC (formerly the Ho). Turns out 12 went and rescued her from the grasp of some guys at the club, and it is confirmed– they got exercise. Then he took her to the airport in the morning.

The point of this story? A few months later the American Embassy in Cuba called to inform us that my sister was incarcerated in Cuba. Fucking Cuba. The rat bastard piece of shit boyfriend of my sister sent my sister to Costa Rica to pick up something. You know exactly where I’m going with this, so inevitably the plane has a stop over in Cuba and the long and short of it is my sister is serving a 15 year sentence in Communistic Cuba. I mention Communism, not that I frown upon it, but the embargo makes every phone call from her to me at least $50.

In defense of my sister, who has never had an infraction in her life as opposed to her 2 deviant brothers (myself included) and our other brother, innocense, would do and will do anything for a man. She wasn’t some type of opportunist trying to score to buy some diamonds or something. To be perfectly honest with you I have no clue of what she did or what she was convicted of– it’s so complicated with the over seas thing and the embargo. I just know I don’t have my sister, and miss her very much. So as I tear up I don’t know if hearing from my baby girl is a good thing or a bad thing for either of us. She’s my baby girl, my baby girl.